Perhaps I Am Just Too Easy

In my capacity as a Network Administrator, part of my job is to setup and configure the computers that my co-workers use to do their jobs. These can vary from Graphic's Workstations to a simple Q&A setup. My company is pretty loose about allowing people to work from home on occasion. So, by extension, I have a standing offer to all of my fellow employees that if they would like me to, and if I have the time, I will setup their home machines to mirror their workstations as closely as possible. This allows me to ensure that their machines have current virus protection as well as any updates for the OS. I can also make sure that they have legal copies of any software they might require to perform their job functions. And considering that we have VPN access to the network for all employees, this policy makes sense as a measure to reduce the chances of a virus or some other security risk is not introduced onto our network.



That being said, many people have asked me "What do I owe you for this?". I used to just say "Nothing, don't worry about it; I'm actually making sure that you don't inadvertently do some damage to my network". Once I explain my logic, they usually say "Ahh. Ok. Well, thank you very much". But there are some who simply insist. One time I had just rebuilt a woman's computer and she took it home on Friday and had all weekend to play around and make sure I had gotten everything right. The following Monday, I was running a little late and got in around 8:30. And there on my desk, in all of its Green-Clad Glory, were two 6-Packs of my absolute favorite beer, Moosehead. And there was an envelope with $50 in it too.

Pleased as I was, I immediately went to this woman's office and thanked her profusely while trying to explain that this was unnecessary. But she was firm in her conviction; her computer had NEVER worked as well as it did now and she was hard-pressed to pull herself away from it because she was able to actually ENJOY doing things with it, rather than cursing at all of the things that never seemed to work correctly. Needless to say, I was quite flattered. I thanked her and reminded her to let me know if anything acted oddly; its part of the service.

Now, I know that if I were to freelance doing PC work, I could probably make a pretty penny. I think the going rate is between $25 and $50 per hour (I'm not positive on this; I haven't checked in quite some time). And I am extremely meticulous when it comes to doing computers. My goal is that when someone sits down in front of it, they should be able to start using it, not spend the next few hours configuring or installing something.

I've always believed in two things regarding my work ethic;
1) If you're going to do something, do it right or don't bother. Its more trouble to fix something than it is to do it right in the first place.
2) You can have it right or you can have it now. You cannot have it Right Now. Which means, if you want it done correctly, give me the time to do it correctly instead of asking me to shit gold bullion on a moments notice.

These mantras have seemed to serve me fairly well and I have a reputation for being a person who gets things done the way they should be done. And thats not really a bad place to be; Instant credibility.

Well, this woman obviously spread the word about how good of a job I had done for her because I actually started developing a backlog of PCs in waiting. And the compensation requests also continued. Most times it was various quantities of Moosehead (I'm not an alcoholic; I just really like Moosehead. Besides, I can quit at any time), but sometimes there was also money or snacks or offers to take me to lunch; all manner of goodies.

I should make one aside regarding my fondness for Moosehead. Moosehead is brewed in Canada. I live in Florida. Moosehead is the oldest brewery in Canada, but also one of the smallest. They apparently are not interested in becoming the Canuck version of Anheuser-Busch. This translates into a rather difficult chore of finding this product locally without some measure of hunting. So, when someone else is doing all of the hoofin', I'm perfectly fine with that.

After so many requests and because I like to think of myself as pretty good natured and witty (with a touch of sarcasm as well), I put together a Preferred Method of Payment for Services Rendered list, which I have taped to the window outside of my office. Its mainly to make people chuckle but they have been a few who have actually gone down the list and purchased multiple items that I have listed. That in and of itself it much funnier than any list I could have compiled. I just laugh to myself when someone stops and reads it, especially if they have a pad and pen and are making notes for their next trip to the store.

The downside is that I'm afraid that I may look like something of a lush when I'm carrying 2 or 3 12-packs of beer out to my truck. Not that I'm too concerned about what other people think, but sometimes the thought does come to mind.

Anyway, without further ado, here is my list. I hope the 2 people who actually read my blog will get a laugh or two out of it.

Preferred Methods of Payment for Services Rendered

This is completely voluntary. You don't have to give me anything, but if you feel that you must, this list should help you choose wisely.
(Amounts are also up to your discretion, but a wise man once said, Give until it hurts. Economics is a painful process)

1.) Money (In the words of Sam Adams, Always A Good Decision)

2.) Beer (In order of preference)

a. Moosehead
b. Sam Adams
c. Anything else

3.) Other Beverages

a. Diet Coke (The regular stuff. None of this wimpy flavored garbage)

4.) Food & Snacks

a. Chips

i. Cheetos (The crunchy ones)
ii. Doritos (Nacho Cheese)
iii. Tostitos
iv. Anything else

b. Candy

i. Peanut M&Ms
ii. Butterfinger
iii. Reeses Cups
iv. Anything else

c. Lunch

i. The Panda China Buffet
ii. Any Italian
iii. Any Mexican
iv. Sandwich shops (Subway, Firehouse, Jersey Mikes, etc)
v. Burger King, McDonald's, Checkers, Taco Bell, etc
(I love Fast Food)
vi. Any other place in town EXCEPT Tudo Vietnamese
(That place SUCKS; I don't care what anyone says.)